Why a Gentler Approach to Insomnia Might Be Just What You Need

Arie, a 38-year-old father of two, never thought he’d struggle with insomnia. But after a demanding six months of sleepless nights, his search for answers led him to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I). At first, he was hopeful. CBT-I promised a structured path to better sleep. Yet, when he tried stimulus control and sleep restriction—the cornerstone techniques of CBT-I—things didn’t improve. In fact, they felt worse.

“It was so rigid and controlling,” Arie shared. “Instead of helping me relax, it made me even more anxious about sleep. I started to dread bedtime.”

Arie’s experience is not uncommon. If you’ve struggled with sleep, you might have wondered, “How is insomnia treated?” While CBT-I is often the first recommendation, it isn’t the only path to finding rest. Let’s break down what CBT-I involves and explore why a gentler, less controlling approach may be just what you need.

CBT-I:...

Sophie had always been a planner. At 40, she was deeply dedicated to her family and work, but for years, insomnia had been a heavy weight she carried silently. Nights stretched long and restless, filled with worry and frustration. She tried everything—sleep hygiene routines, herbal teas, even medication—but nothing seemed to ease her struggle.

She often wondered, Will I ever sleep like I used to? Will this ever go away?

And then, something unexpected happened.

The Adventure That Changed Everything

It began with a simple invitation. A friend had dropped out of a month-long volunteer trip to Patagonia, leaving a last-minute opening. Normally, Sophie would have said no—too much to organize, too much responsibility, too worried it may make her insomnia worse. But something inside her stirred. The thought of hiking in the Andes, camping under open skies, and rediscovering herself felt both terrifying and thrilling.

So, with a mix of excitement and nerves, Sophie said yes.

The trip was...

A common question people have about insomnia is, “What does insomnia actually do to the brain?” To answer this, let’s break it down into two parts, starting with what insomnia does not do to the brain.

What Insomnia Does Not Do to the Brain

Firstly, there’s no evidence that insomnia causes any kind of permanent damage to the brain. Research has never shown that insomnia makes us "go crazy," become psychotic, or causes any lasting brain injury. This can be really comforting to know, especially if you’ve been lying awake at night, worrying that lack of sleep is harming you in some irreversible way.

Understanding this can be very helpful because insomnia itself stems from a fear of not sleeping. When we start to think that insomnia will cause brain damage or lead to losing control, it reinforces that fear, which then keeps insomnia going. Simply knowing that insomnia does not cause any damage can be a big relief. It’s a reassurance that while insomnia is uncomfortable and can be frustr...

If you’ve been struggling with sleep, you might find yourself lying awake at night, wondering if there’s something wrong with your body or mind. Perhaps you’ve asked yourself if a disorder or an illness is causing your wakefulness. This is a question that can be worrying and overwhelming, especially if sleepless nights have become a pattern. So, let’s unpack this together in a way that hopefully brings some clarity—and peace of mind.

Sleep Disruption vs Insomnia

Let’s start by drawing a distinction between sleep disruption and insomnia. The two are often confused but are actually very different.

Sleep disruption is when something external is causing you to have a rough night’s sleep. Maybe you’re sick with a cold, or you’ve injured yourself, or you’re going through a stressful period. In these cases, your sleep might be choppy or disturbed for a while, but it returns to baseline once the issue is resolved. It’s temporary and secondary, tied directly to something going on ...

If you've had trouble sleeping, you may have wondered if only people with a certain genetic make up, life experiences or habits have sleep troubles? The answer to this question, perhaps you’ve figured, could help you not only understand your own situation, but highlight the way back to peaceful sleep. 

And it certainly can. 

The answer is that anyone can find themselves in a sleep struggle, but those of us who end up with insomnia do share some traits. 

In other words, although people from all backgrounds, all ages, all corners of the world, with all different types of temperaments have been known to have insomnia… there tends to be a set of personality aspects that make it more common. Let’s summarize these as the high achiever. 

The high achiever

The high achiever is driven, Type A, hardworking, goal-oriented, and health conscious. They don’t give up easily and when things don’t go as planned, they try harder and often criticize themselves for not having achieved what they set o...

Did you know that ‘strike’ is one of the most common words we use when we ask what to do when we have trouble sleeping? 

It’s not difficult to see why, because when we suddenly find ourselves anxiously awake at night, we can feel as if we have been struck. 

Now the answer to what to do in this situation, paradoxically, lies in taking a close look at the very question we are posing. 

When we use the word strike, we are implying that something has hit us. Someone or something has landed a blow that kept us awake rather than knocked us out.  And naturally, when we feel attacked, we want to defend ourselves. We want to strike back. 

But before we do something drastic, it truly helps to look at where exactly the first blow came from?

The first blow

Here’s the thing, when our brain senses that we are in some form of danger, it activates our safety system, our fight and flight system. As part of this system being activated, we become more perceptive, more vigilant and more awake. 

This...

If you’ve ever found yourself lying awake at night, staring at the ceiling, wondering if your insomnia is something you should be worried about, you’re not alone. Many people who struggle with sleep eventually start questioning whether their situation is more than just a rough patch and whether they’re at risk for something more serious. It’s natural to want to know—how can you tell if your sleep troubles are different, if they're a sign of something bigger, or if they call for medical concern?

Looking for answers

You might have started searching for clues, looking up how much sleep you should be getting, comparing your nights to a checklist of insomnia symptoms. Maybe you’ve wondered if missing a few hours here and there could have long-term effects on your health. Perhaps you’ve thought, “If I can’t fall asleep soon, will this take a toll on my body or mind?”

First, it’s important to remember that anyone concerned about their health should talk to a doctor. But here’s something th...

Insomnia is diagnosed when a patient tells their doctor that they have difficulty staying and/or falling asleep. 

If this has happened for less than three months, the doctor will diagnose acute insomnia. 

If this has happened more than three times per week for more than three months, the doctor will diagnose chronic insomnia. 

But this probably is not what matters to you at all. 

If you’ve wondered how insomnia is diagnosed, you’ve surely also wondered if you have insomnia yourself, and how to sleep well again. 

And this is what matters to you. 

Let us therefore find out whether you have insomnia and how you’ll find peaceful sleep again. 

Do I have insomnia?

Telling you that you have insomnia is just like the formal diagnosis of insomnia, a completely subjective affair. 

In other words, neither require a blood test or a sleep study or anything besides your own experiences. 

Now remember, a doctor HAS to put a diagnosis code in their note or they will not be able to charge the...

In this edition of Mining the comments we look at a question from @dsision18 who has heard that one should use artificial and natural light to set the circadian rhythm.

Is this true? How can we trust when we get conflicting advice? We look at the answers and find a person who you can always rely on: yourself.

In this special edition class, we hear from Hugo who has seen five steps on the path of leaving insomnia and other struggles that can feel like a mental prison.